An Open Letter – Taking Responsibility
Hello again friends,
I think it’s time to talk about another conservative value. Responsibility. I was recently in a conversation with a person who had lost their job and I could not be more proud of them for the way they described the situation. He simply said, “I was let go, because I screwed up.”
I told him how nice it was that he could say that; naturally, I couldn’t resist and dove right into a lecture on the power of taking responsibility. There are many difficult things we are told to do, because it’s the right thing; without any explanation of why it’s the right thing. Or without knowing what benefit it will redound to us.
Taking responsibility is one of those things. It’s an excellent habit to get into, because if we make it a habit, it will pay off in a couple of big ways. First, you earn respect. Second, you get the bennofit of a learned lesson. and Third, you gain power.
We have all been in situations where people are pointing fingers and shifting blame to save their hides. Imagine if one person had stood up and said “I’m at least partly responsible, I should have coached my co-workers or coordinated better with them or asked for clarification.” This guy is a leader. This guy understands and we can all see it. He used his voice to end a messy situation and get everything back on track. The person who can take the blame for a bad situation, is a person who is bigger than the situation; and confident enough in their overall worth to know that blame fades and character doesn’t.
I like this person and I think you do too.
The second big benefit of taking responsibility is the lesson. We all go through a lot of good and bad times in life, and we do not always understand the lessons that are being offered by the bad things that happen. Making it a habit to take responsibility, or accept blame, keeps us from glossing over the lesson. It hurts to accept blame but pain teaches us lessons.
I have to admit to a little anxiety whenever I hear someone describing an event in which they were involved, in a passive voice. “Two glasses and a plate broke while being washed.” Really?!?! The person who says this has mentally removed themselves from the situation and cannot possibly learn a lesson from it.
At this point in a conversation, I’m not concerned with the two glasses or the plate. I am however very concerned for the safety of every other dish that may, in the future and of its own volition, break while being washed! The person cannot learn a lesson without internalizing the blame. To grow and improve as decent human beings; it is critical that we learn all the lessons that our failures offer us. Don’t gloss over it. Own it and learn from it.
The third thing we get from taking responsibility, and probably the most important, is power. The idea that the universe is conspiring to do us wrong is enticing because it relieves us from having to take responsibility for our situations. Unfortunately, it also deprives us of agency in our situations. We cannot both be the victim of circumstances and the shaper of our destinies.
Every time we admit to ourselves that something is our fault, we are claiming agency for that thing. We are taking power from the universe and having it for ourselves. If I crashed my car, broke a dish, lost my money, hurt a friend, or otherwise flubbed it, accepting and internalizing fault is the way to take power over that situation; so that we can learn the lesson, avoid the same mistakes, and also realize that we have some power and agency in our lives.
One last thing. The 2020 election going the wrong way was our fault; mine and yours. We could have shared more conservative material. We could have talked with friends. We could have given more. We could have introduced people to conservative podcasts or websites like “TheRightWay: conservative thoughts and family values”.
We could have gone to church more too. Yes, it’s on us. I hope you will have the confidence to take responsibility as I am doing. I hope you will internalize the lesson as I am trying to do. I hope you take the blame as I do and realize the power that we have together to make a different reality in the future.
I hope you share this article,
Channel Sanderson.
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